Totally Random Thoughts
My thoughts about any and everything
Monday, July 8, 2024
Emma Geneva is published
A New Chapter/A New Life
It has been a while since I have posted and to be honest a lot has gone on and I have simply forgotten so here goes.
I was naive in thinking he'd actually help in the day to day things around the house. NO all he could do was complain about what a bad person I am, how stupid I am, and also that I'll never amount to anything and what a sorry wife I am. I ended up quitting the work from home job, a job I loved and got fulfillment out of, all for a man who doesn't give a damn about me. I guess I am a sorry excuse for a human being, let alone a wife. I could not take the constant complaining from my husband and yes he got our daughter on his side so if he talks trash to me our daughter is right there beside him doing the same thing.
I'm sorry Husband, its hard to want to take care of a household that doesn't give a damn about me and quite honestly never really has in the last fifteen years. You may ask do I have proof of this, and I am truthful when I say yes I have concrete evidence. We have been married almost eighteen years, you'd think I'd be the beneficiary on his 401k, pension, life insurance, everything that would give me something to live off of should something ever happen to him, but no, his mother is his sole beneficiary, not me, not our daughter. I asked him if he would change it to at least our daughter, he claimed he never got around to it said he would change it, but when he got the statement in the mail (he gets one every three months) his mother was listed and being the 100% beneficiary, and according to the statement he received two months ago she still is. As his wife I have access to the mail so he lied to me about who would get everything should anything happen to him. If anything happens to him his mother gets it all, his money, his share of the house, his cars everything. I'll be left with nothing but what I have now or what I have saved.
Several years ago we were having a discussion I bought up his mother being in control of his life, he got angry in a flash and informed me that his mother would always be more important to him than I would ever be. To put it mildly I was hurt and ever since then I have understood I will never be important to him. I was in a car accident (deer hit the car). When I called him to tell him what had happened on my way home from going to the store to get his beer he came and all he could do was berate me about hitting a deer. I was upset, barely conscious and all he can do is tell me I'm an idiot. Sometimes I wish I had died in that accident, but God had other plans for me (but that's another entry).
Monday, March 19, 2018
False Alarm
Last week I took my daughter to the doctor because she had a stuffy nose and this being flu season I wanted to be sure it wasn't the flu. The thing is while I was there I figured I'd mention the hard lump on my daughters rib. It wasn't causing her any pain and the position it is in it really was not uncomfortable. When I mentioned it to the doctor (who turns out was a nurse practitioner), I was told it might be cancer. Talk about warning bells and red flags going up.
She wanted my daughter to take a round of test to confirm exactly what it was. So here my daughter is going to the hospital to have blood drawn and a CT scan taken. Honestly I was scared. I mean here I am at the hospital worrying that my daughter may have cancer, that is enough to make anyone upset. I asked my husband not to tell his parents and he didn't. I and our daughter did not see the point in telling them until we knew for sure.
We waited and waited for the doctor's office to call and give us the results. I called the Nurse practitioner's personal cell and was informed by her that she had been fired/terminated what ever you want to call it. I was not given any details but I got the impression that the doctor's office wanted her stop ordering test that may not be necessary.
Thursday, January 25, 2018
Demon vlogs part 1
Friday, October 6, 2017
Christmas Crash
I was doing well dealing with my depression, that was until my husband let me know that he really did not want to see my family this Christmas. You see when I got married almost 11 years ago I stopped having Christmas with my extended family, not my parents and siblings just the extended family members that celebrate on Christmas eve. Anyway my husband made it clear that he does not want to be there and that he is going to only stay long enough to say he went. We are going in separate cars.
I can understand that to a degree because my grandmother has made it very, very clear that she does not like my husband she has gone out of her way to let most people know how much she hates him especially when he is around so that she can point him out to those people she is telling. Oh well my place is with my husband and forever will I be at his side.
UPDATE-I had Christmas with my extended family this year and my grandmother did what I expected. She made hateful looks and quiet whispers to who ever would listen to her. My family God bless them see her words as nothing but the ramblings of a bitter old woman without friends and precious little family members left that can and will tolerate her as the years go by.