North Myrtle Beach's perfect place to stay.

     When my family goes to the beach we stay at the Jamaica Motel. Unlike many other places at the beach this place is clean and the maids do not run you out of the room when they come to clean the room.

     This motel is located on north ocean Blvd, North Myrtle Beach. This motel is privately owned and the owners actually own the building and live on the premises.  All the rooms are ocean front and many of them come with a stove and oven which I can say works just fine because and I have cooked quite a few meals on it instead of paying $40+ for a plate for food at chain restaurants just four blocks away.

Going to School:Update

NTHS certificate

NTHS inductees

      I have been going to school to earn my college associates degree for the past two years and I can say that I am nearing completion. When I am finished I will have an associates degree in accounting. I have been told that getting a degree in accounting is one of the hardest ones to get but so far I have had really not much of a problem. I have kept my grades up and I have been accepted in two honor societies, NTHS (National Technical Honor Society), and Phi Theta Kappa. I was also chosen to be a marshal at this years graduation.

     As of now I only have 7 more classes to go Acc115, Eng165, Bus121 which I am taking the coming semester and then I have to take Acc230, Acc150, Acc240, and Bus 140. I am hopeful that all the classes will be offered for the Spring 2016 semester. I know that three of them are suppose to but I am not sure about one of them, the Acc150 class.

     Most, or should I say half of my classes have been online classes. I am a full-time wife and mother, I also have a part time job so juggling everything can be a bit of a challenge at times (especially at a certain time of the month) online classes make it easier to do a lot of it. One thing I like about taking online classes I can be at home with my daughter not worry about finding a sitter this is especially good during the summer, because I take summer classes in the hopes of finishing my degree faster. I also take classes during the summer because I had a Pell grant and I normally have enough left over to take two more classes during the summer to use up the money.

     So far I have attained a GPA of 3.8, keep in mind that 4.0 is perfect. When I graduated from high school in 1988 there was no such thing as a GPA. Honestly I had no idea what it was, it took me a while but I figured it out how a GPA is calculated and I can say that I am very proud of my GPA. I mean I am 45 years old, and I will be 46 when I receive my degree I think I am going pretty well.

Phi Theta Kappa inductees

Marshal at the 2015 graduation ceremony

A broom standing on its own

     This happened a while back but this is a broom standing by itself. I was told by several people that a broom could do this and I just wanted to see for myself if I could do it, I guess I could.

Jayne's jack-o-lantern

My daughters art work at Halloween. I just ran across the picture and thought it was cute.

Premenstral Depression, it is not pretty

     When people look at me they may think that woman has everything, a loving husband, and beautiful daughter, a home to call her own, she's going to school and she has a part time job that has no set hours which means she can sleep in everyday of the week or simply not go in at all if she chooses. Problem is this woman does have a problem, it's called premenstrual depression and she can hide very well.

     As most women know, at a certain time of the month a woman's emotions often go into overdrive. I am no exception. A few days before my period several things happen, physically I have just about the worse case of diarrhea a person can have this includes cramps that make you fall to your knees and double over in pain, and sitting on the toilet for at least an hour or two. When this is finally over you are so weak that you can't function because you are so drained of energy because of the diarrhea you just had, but this pales in comparison to the depression that follows.

     When I say depression I mean suicidal depression and it can me very severe at times. I have been able to fight it off and keep my family in the dark about the severity of it but as I get older the bouts are getting worse and more intense. I will cut myself and watched as my life blood drains out of me then I will cry, panic and crawl into bed praying for a death that never comes.

     I have always felt that I was never good enough, that I was ugly, stupid, unworthy. This probably stems from the fact that when I was 5 my dad told me he wished I had never been born, or that he wished I had been born a boy instead of a girl. My mom even admitted that she had often thought of killing me as a child. One time when I was about thirteen my family was visiting a church, the preacher's wife walked up to me and with a smile looked me in the eye and said your sister is so much prettier than you are. The preachers wife tells me this, you can imagine how hurt I was, to be honest I was close to tears, I mean how could anyone especially the preachers wife say that to a child that is a visitor in Gods house. This is just the tip of the iceberg I had to deal with while growing up.

     When I got married my spirits were lifted for a few years. I had a loving husband, we had a beautiful daughter and everything seemed right in the world. I became a stay-at-home mom while my husband would go to work. Oh, we had ups and downs but when you are married what couple doesn't, especially when you add a child to the mix and the two people have been married less than a year. I can say the first two years were hard, we were getting used to each other as people then we turned into parents six weeks before our first anniversary, talk about a lot to go through in one year, but we made it.

     Then our daughter starts school and I need something to get rid of all these depression thoughts going through my head. So I get a part time job working as a retail merchandiser for Hallmark card company. This job has no set hours and it does not interfere with my family time at home. When that wasn't enough I think my husband caught on to the fact that something was wrong so he suggested I go to back to school and work on the degree that my parents said I would never be good enough to achieve. So I enrolled and I have a 3.8 GPA so far and I only have one year to go.

     With all this going on you would think that my mind would not have time to wander and that depression would not be able to reared its ugly head, but that is not how depression works, it still enters my thoughts and sometimes it is a bit overwhelming especially when it is time for Aunt Flo's visit. I am going to beat this because life is worth living and I am going to live it.

Yes I am a College student

     Well it has been a while since I have written anything and this is the reason why, I am a college student now and to be perfectly honest that has taken up a lot of my time.

     Since starting my second year I have learned a lot about myself and others. I am one of the oldest people in my class and because of that I have seen a lot of things that the others have not and I have a appreciation for things that the others do not.

     One thing I have learned is that the younger ones in the class have the attitude that they could care less.  There are two students in my class that especially come to mind. They are both fresh out of high school. One of them did not even bother to get a textbook, now in her defense the book is almost $200, maybe she could not afford it, or maybe the school bookstore did not have any in stock. Anyway she asked me if she could have my textbook over the weekend, I had to tell her no.  Now some of you may think I was being mean or cruel, but I just did not feel comfortable letting this person take my book the entire weekend when all she does during class is tap on her phone. It is against school policy to have your phone out when you are in class, Ms. Jordan, the teacher is a very forgiving instructor and understands that some of her students have children (like myself) and they may have to be contacted if an emergency comes up, she will allow you to have your phone in class, just cut the ringer off and keep it out of sight, I guess the slang term would be out of sight out of mind. Now this student that is constantly on her phone and does not have a textbook makes sure that she sits at the back of the room in a seat so that the teacher can not see that she is on her phone. I guess you could say that the girl is smart about not getting caught, but not so much when it comes to listening to what the teacher is saying or learning anything.

     The other student is a guy and I will say this, he did buy a textbook and when the girl asked him if she could have the book the weekend he did not hesitate to hand it over to her. He is a student that you can tell could care less about the class he is taking, I think the way he sees it he is just filling a space and from what I am assuming he is going to NETC because his parents told him to.

     The older students have the attitude that they want to make something of their life. One of the older students I was speaking with actually told me that when he was in High school he goofed off and now that he is older he said that he was going to get it right. I suppose I have the same attitude.

     I have done well so far in my classes. This semester I am taking Accounting 101, Accounting 120 (Federal income tax) and an online class CPT 101 (introduction to computers). My goal is to earn my degree and graduate with honors. So far I am doing well my first test in ACC120 I made a 93 and the second test I made a 99 (bringing my average up to a 96). The first test in ACC101 I made a 90 it wasn't an "A" but I know that I can take other test and bring my average up, especially since the teacher is giving us extra credit for the next test. The computer class I have an average so far of 99.3.

    I was on the deans list for the spring semester 2014 and if I can maintain an "A" in every class this semester I will be on the deans list for the fall semester 2014. I know I can do it just takes dedication, and I am dedicated to doing my best.

Grandma, I'm DONE

 

 

 

  I have to admit that there are a lot of things that I can put up with from people, but there comes a time when I have to sit down and be completely honest and say "I'm DONE, no more".

     One example is my grandmother, it is sad to say but I have gotten to the point that I simply can not stand that woman. Let me explain why. This grandmother has always played favorites in her family. She has a favorite son, a favorite daughter-in-law, and a favorite grandchild, all of which my father, mother, or any of my siblings simply do not fall into. She had five children, all boys. Of her sons only two had any children and together they gave her five grandchildren, of which I am the oldest.

     Anyway, my mother told me that when she and my father were married my grandmother pulled her to the side and told her "When you and my son have children, and you need a babysitter DON'T ASK ME".  Needless to say growing up I never went to her house except at Christmas and Thanksgiving, and the occasional birthday, now keep in mind, we lived next door to her. Now as the years went by I figured that my grandmothers simply did not like children in their house, but that was until my youngest cousin was born.

      My youngest cousin, which happens to be a girl, would spend the night at her house all the time, even on school nights. I asked my mother why did my grandmother like my cousin the best, to be honest my mother did not have an answer, she probably asked her self the same question time and time again over the years. It was not like this cousin was an only child or had any developmental problems like you might expect, she had a brother, that my grandmother treated him like a unwanted redheaded stepchild just like she treated me and my siblings. The rule was that the  only grandchild that was invited to her home regularly and that she showered with affection was her "Favorite'.

     That is not the only reason that I have washed my hands of my grandmother. Another one is that often she would preach about the bible and that it is a sin to "shack" before you are married. Now that is all well and good.  One of her sons lived with his current wife several years before they were married, but he had been through a bitter divorce and was afraid to get married unless he felt it was forever, and he wanted to be sure that the woman he married loved him and would not cut out on him six months into the marriage like his first wife did. When he was sure that this woman he was with loved him with a forever kind of love he married her and they have been together almost 35 years, of which more than 25 of them have been as a married couple. Anyway my grandmother practically disowned him when they moved in together, and to this day his wife is not really welcome in her home. 

     Getting back to my original line of thought, my cousin, her favorite had a child with a married man, then moved in with another man when the baby was an infant. They lived together until the baby was about a year old. And my grandmother does nothing but praise her granddaughter and all her accomplishments and treats her husband like a grandson. Now my cousin has earned a associates degree and as far as I am concerned that is all she has really done.  My brother, and nephew have both earned a degrees and you won't hear that woman bragging about them. 

     I guess I should consider my self lucky she actually showed up at my wedding, though it was probably because the church it was 10 minutes away, she didn't even go to my brothers wedding instead she sat home and bragged about not being there, but when my cousin was married she was the first one at the church.

     Well over the years I learned to accept the fact that my grandmother is simply a mean old woman who has favorites and you just have to learn to deal with them. But sometimes things happen and you just have to throw your hands in the air and say with all truthfulness that you are done, finished, you are not going to take it anymore, this happened with me as far as my grandmother was concerned.

     I won't bore you with the long details in this post (maybe the next one) but in a nutshell, she wanted me to choose between her and my husband.  And when I didn't pick her side she tried to turn my father, her son, against me.  Long story short, I informed her, that she is not welcome in my home I would consider her trespassing if she entered my yard, now keep in mind she lives next door to me. I'd would pick my husband 100, no 1 billion times over her, a woman who treated me and my family like dirt since the day I was born.

    My mother is concerned that I will have regrets when she dies. True, I might have regrets, and then I might not. I will say this, if she approached me and gave me a heartfelt apology for all the years she treated me so bad, and them dropped dead in front of me; then yes I probably would have regrets for not making piece with her.  But I know that will never happen, the woman has too much pride to admit she did something that she might have to apologize for.

UPDATE My grandmother died and unfortunately we never made amends, I still have no regrets and will always pick my immediate family first (unlike my husband who picks his mother over everyone).